Every moment of every day, I am working on self-improvement. I truly want to be the best me I can be for myself, my family, my friends, and the people I work with. I work to keep a positive vibration, not attack people or be quick to lash out, and to not cause guilt or frustration in others. (We could now start talking about how no one can really affect another person, it is that person allowing it to happen and so on, but that is a post for another day). The biggest thing that makes all of this challenging for me is my ego. I have always loved to be right and have been trained that I should be as perfect as I can at all times. But, that is really just living how my ego wants me to live.

Our ego is our conscious mind, the one that controls thoughts and behavior, but it is not our true selves. Have you ever thought about doing something and suddenly, you just knew the answer. You knew deep down inside the exact right thing to do or say. But then…fear, guilt, doubt, and worry crept in and you didn’t do or say it? That was your ego stepping in. Nothing the ego projects on us is really real. When we worry about things that may not even be real or that we have no control over, and don’t stay present in the now, that’s the ego. When we doubt ourselves or look down on ourselves for things that are not even true, that’s that darned ego again. The great news is, since none of this is true, we can totally turn this thinking around.

I often talk to my patients about the angel/devil voices. You have your angel voice that says loving things to you like, “you are beautiful, you are successful, you are a good person, you are loved fully”. The devil voice says things like, “you are fat, you are ugly, no one likes you, you are a failure, you said the wrong thing”. Sound familiar? These voices are really the ego versus your true self or inner self. Your true self knows you are beautiful and amazing, but we let our egos convince us otherwise.

So, what are we to do about it? First, start with an awareness of your ego. When you are feeling good or you know exactly what to do about something and the negative emotions start to creep in, gently say to your ego, “I see you, but I don’t need you right now”. Now, don’t go and start judging your ego. That is just what your ego wants you to do. Just begin to have an awareness. Be aware of your negative self-talk, be aware of how you attack others, be aware of what is holding you back from what you know deep down is right and true. When we begin to be aware, we can stop the train wrecks in our minds from happening. If it helps for awhile, turn to that devil voice and snap your figures or use harsh language to turn it right off.

Next, begin to really listen to your inner voice. I use the example of food and alcohol for this. Have you ever been at the fridge ready to grab another snack or beer and this voice inside says, “NO” loud and clear? That’s your inner self trying to guide you. You are being guided by this all of the time, but most of us are not listening. When you hear that voice, do your best to listen, and do what you are being guided to do. When we do this more regularly, the voice becomes louder.

Third, meditate. I will never let up on this. I drive my patients a bit crazy reminding them over and over how they need to meditate. It’s super important. Meditation resets us and takes us away from the ego and brings us back to our inner knowledge and power. (Read this blog for more details). The excuse I hear all the time is, “I can’t meditate, my mind just can’t calm down”. People, that is your ego. If you feel this way, you need meditation most of all! Start with 5 minutes or do a guided meditation on YouTube. There are thousands of them out there. If you don’t like the first one you try, keep trying. Lie down if you are more comfortable, you don’t have to sit like a yogic goddess! Find a way that works and try to do even a few minutes every day. I promise your life will change for the good if you just do it.

Every day, people come into my office with very similar words coming our of their mouths, “I should be doing this better, I can’t do that, I hate the way I feel, I can’t change, this thing messed me up for good, I’m so fat, I hate my life”. I feel one of my main jobs is to get them out of this ego mindset and back to their inner knowing. You can simply do this for yourself. Start slowly and gently with awareness. Talk as sweetly as you can to yourself (you too, guys!). Then, work on shifting. When your ego starts to take over, acknowledge it. Then, take a minute or two with some deep breaths and just ask your inner guide what is the right thing to do next. If you wait for the answer, it will come to you loud and clear.

If you like this content, be sure to sign-up for my regular newsletter over to your right and consider signing up for my e-course, chocked full of articles like this, and much more. Most of all, be share this post with friends. If we all become guided by our true inner selves, just imagine what we could do!