A good friend recommended an audio book to me last week and I am overwhelmed with how much the information is already transforming me. It is called, Getting Unstuck by Pema Chodron.  Pema is a Buddhist nun who teaches all over the US and Canada.  I highly recommend her teachings.

What struck me the most is her teaching on the shenpa.  Shenpa translates loosely to mean attachment, but Pema describes it more as being “hooked”.  You know when you are talking with someone and you say something that gets to them, they close up, and the communication is over?  That is the shenpa.  It’s when you are going happily about your day and then you have a negative thought or worry and it totally takes you over. You get hooked into the thought pattern and your happy day is no longer.  We experience feelings of insecurity, unease, or restlessness out of nowhere.  I do this so much!  It’s almost like I cannot fully allow myself to be completely happy and content.  I allow my shenpa to get the best of me.  It’s almost like I take some sort of comfort with these thoughts. They are familiar in some way. Do you know what I am talking about?

Another thing Pema discusses is how we right and wrong ourselves all the time.  Yes, guilty of this as well! We decide what we think is the right thing to do whether it’s what we eat, getting exercise, how we interact with others, and even how we think. As soon as we do not do the right expectation we have of ourselves, we tell ourselves we did wrong. When the shenpa takes over, we then have the inner talk that this was the wrong thing to do, too.  Why did I let myself go there?  I know better. I am so stupid for ruminating over this. This then creates even more shenpa.  Sound familiar?

Shenpa can also be the urge or itch for some other form of comfort, such as food, alcohol, or tobacco.  We can use these substances to check out, numb ourselves, or avoid what is really bothering us. When we refrain or renounce the use of these substances for comfort, we are also refraining or renouncing our shenpa. If we can see the shenpa before we really begin to close down, we can stop ourselves from doing the habitual thing and not do it.

So, what do we do?  Listening to Pema actually helped me with a huge sense of relief. I am going to continue to have the shenpa, but now I can be aware of it and not allow myself to get hooked in.  When I start to have a negative or self-destructive thought or behavior pattern, I simply need to be aware of it and recognize what I am doing.  Pema doesn’t teach us to push the thought away or “get rid of the negativity”.  She says to sit with it and just resist the urge to become hooked.  Once you get in the habit of doing this, it will become easier.

I will give you one more example of where I already see this practice of renouncing the shenpa working for me. If you are in a relationship, you will relate to this. So, my husband answers my question in a way that I feel is short or snappy. I immediately close up, snap back, and start an argument. This is me getting hooked into my shenpa.  Really, my husband was frustrated at our internet that keeps timing out and his snapping had absolutely nothing to do with me.  I then created more frustration and wasted time on an argument that was entirely unnecessary. Now, with awareness of my shenpa, I can hear that snap and begin to react (because we cannot usually control this part), but instead of snapping back and starting an argument, I can recognize my shenpa and avoid the argument.  I know he’s not mad at me because there would be no reason for it. I can say to my shenpa, ok, I see you, now go away.

Does this all make sense?  Are you getting what I am saying?  You can read the article about this from Pema here if you want more and she has so many other great articles to offer, as well.  I would love to hear your comments about how your shenpa affects your thinking and please share with your friends to we can all live happier and freer lives without the doom of our shenpas taking over.