Recently, I joined a course for women that is based on creating more abundance in life.  There are many exercises to do to face fears, get clear on your desires, and de-clutter your life.  One of the most important lessons I have learned is about forgiveness. I have always heard that carrying around resentment toward others with eventually kill you and that we should all work on forgiving.  I guess I just never really knew how to do it until now.

The Hawaiians have an ancient practice of Ho’oponopono, which is very similar to what I have learned. It is a process to make things right with the people in our lives, our ancestors, and ourselves. When we forgive others, we are also forgiving ourselves, and we are set free.  The process of Ho’oponopono can be rather elaborate in some of the things I have read.  What I have done is not elaborate at all.

When thinking of forgiving people, I thought I would have to write them a letter, have some sort of conversation, or an intervention or something.  This is so far from true. You just need to say a few phrases. When you are angry, hurt, upset, demeaned, or anything else negative from your experience with someone (or yourself), simply take a moment to get centered.  If you want to use the phrase I have learned from Denise Duffield-Thomas, you simply say out loud like you are talking to the person, “I forgive you, I’m sorry, and I love you”. In Ho’oponopono, the Hawaiians use the phrase, “I am sorry, Please forgive me, I love you, Thank you”. By saying you are sorry, you are admitting that you may have played a small part, and by saying I love you (even to the worst people), you are releasing the hurt and anger and returning yourself to a place of love.

In our course, and in her book, Denise has you take a few hours and write down everyone you can think of that you need to forgive and then say the forgiveness phrase to each person on the list. I forgave that girl Amber in 3rd grade who made fun of me for not having designer jeans and those kids in middle school who were so mean to me.  If you think of someone and you get any emotional response, you need to forgive that person.  I have also forgiven some people for some pretty major stuff!

The point of all of this is how much better I am feeling after doing all of this forgiveness work.  I was holding on to resentments that were really just hurting me.  I was holding myself back from going to the next level in my relationships, my health, and my business.  I honestly feel so much more free.  I can see people who have hurt me in the past and I feel nothing.  If I do feel something, I just forgive immediately and move on. I am encouraging my patients to do the same.

Who are you holding resentment or ill-feelings toward?  How is this affecting your life?  By using this simple tool, you too can be free.

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